Between instagram, whatever newsletters I signed up for in an subconscious state, and the general marketing attacks that get lazer beamed into my retinas, it seems holiday gift guides are an unavoidable fact of life in December. And as someone who likes to leave gift shopping up until the last minute so as to make things infinitely more painful than they need to be, I'm going to admit that I actually appreciate these guides -- the power of suggestion is strong and I am but a trembling leaf in the wind. When I've reached a state of ultimate panic and can't figure out what to get my mom or significant other, I just want the internet to hold my hand and give me concrete directions, no matter how misguided they might be. Artisanal prunes enrobed in french chocolate with insane shipping fees? Add it to the cart. Crocheted lambswool slippers from an old lady in Alberta. Done and done.

So us brew-folk at Bellwoods decided to put together our own holiday gift guide, completely biased towards (but not limited to) our own merch. Let's take a look:

1. Tesla Model S

If you've got an extra $85,000ish grand laying around or hiding beneath a mattress, you should probably donate it to a charity that's important to you. If you have another $85,000 this car is the only thing you should gift to yourself, your family, or your life partner. It's the best electric car in the universe, and it might just help us keep planet earth around much longer than it might otherwise be. Fun fact, Earth is the only planet that can currently support human life. Also, currently the only planet that has coconut peanut butter.

2. Coconut Peanut Butter.

Have you had it? Clearly you wouldn't be questioning me if you'd had it.

3. Books.

That's right, words on pieces of paper that you stack together to communicate stories and emotions. Very retro and if your recipient doesn't appreciate your efforts, you should probably push them off a cliff. Fiction is great, but so are beer-specific titles. We once shared some recommended reads in THIS blog post.

4. BEER.

I'm tempted just to write "duh" and call it a day, but how about this: we make some delicious varieties, it's a great fit for the whole family (over the legal drinking age), and it comes in a hand dandy recyclable package. Did I mention it's delicious? Check our availability, updated daily, right HERE.

5. Beer clothing.

We've got a great range of Bellwoods branded tee shirts and hoodies in the retail store right now -- Wizard Wolf, classic bell, Barn Owl, Witchshark, and Jutsu styles just to name a few -- that all have 2 sleeves and a neck hole, so there's no guesswork in how to put it on your body. Personally, I love it when people buy me clothing, because then I don't have to subject myself to the eternal hell-fires of 'the mall'. Or wear the ill-fitting promotional tee shirts that get dropped off at the brewery by complete strangers.

6. #Properglassware.

In the eclectic town of Beernerdlandia, it's quite important to have the right kind of glass for the beer you're drinking. We sell our 16 oz breughels with a red bell, and (as of 3 minutes ago when the shipment finally arrived) the 14oz "Grandma Glasses" (long stemmed wine glass with rings of small of white and black bells) in the bottle shop so that you never have to worry about sipping beer from a shaker, teacup, or in really dire times, a shoe. And as a useful tip, we think these glasses also serve as perfect vessels for iced coffees, green smoothies, or plain ol' Toronto tap water.

7. Posters.

Doublenaut is the insanely talented brother duo behind our label artwork that y'all love so much. We take these bold, graphic designs, have them screenprinted by the kind people at Kid Icarus over in Parkdale, and stock them in our retail store. They look great hung up in your homes, and when you don't know quite what size tee shirt your brother-in-law wears, they'll work in a pinch. Available in more designs than I can list (ie, a lot).

8. Greeting Cards.

Write some of your nice feelings down and let your friends and family know just how much you care about them. Bonus points for including haikus, hundos, or confetti that's so small you have to vacuum it.


Iron 'em on jean jackets, backpacks, or dog vests. They look cool.

10. Gift Cards.

If you just parked illegally and need a gift yesterday, have one of our lovely retail staff load you up a gift card lickety split. Because nothing says I love you quite like a plastic card that makes beer magically appear.